Archive for January, 2014

Wicked Wednesday: Nervous

Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

We lie in bed together, spooning.
Tonight, I’m little spoon, cosy in your arms.
Your hand drifts, and finds my neck.
I gasp, and I’m glad of it as you cut off my air.
Just as it becomes too much, you release your grasp.
My heart beat has quickened,
My returned breath shallow and fast.
What will you do next? 
I feel you grow behind me, pushing against my ass.
Your grip tightens once more, and I tremble.
A low growl in my ear tells me you want more.
With a handful of my hair, you direct my mouth to your waiting cock
I’m desperate to satisfy you.
Please, let me satisfy you.
Tiring of my oral service, you pull me back by my hair
My legs, quickly spread with you between them
I feel you push your thick cock-head into my asshole
Please, no, I can’t take it!
You grab my hips to secure me for your taking
Pain gives way to pleasure and my cries become moans
What a slut I am, you tell me, to enjoy this.
Once sated, you take up your position once more as my protector, arm draped across me.
I feel myself relax, and drift off.

You make me so nervous, and I fucking love it.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

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KOTW: Biting

Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I’m a big fan of biting.

As a “primal” identifying kinkster, it does something to me I can’t quite do justice to in the written word. Biting, scratching, wrestling – all things that get me hot and need no tools or toys to engage in.

Biting has always turned me on, for as long as I’ve been sexually active. My first girlfriend introduced me to the concepts of pleasure and pain mingling as one, and in doing so sparked a fire that has raged in me ever since. I have an odd relationship with pain – and indeed biting – because part of me, usually at the start, kind of hates it. Then something shifts and I “sink into it”, and while it still hurts (oh god does it hurt), it also feels amazing.

The other thing I enjoy about biting is the marks it can leave behind. I’m not so fond of visible marks – I’m talking about hickeys to the neck and the like – because they’re so hard to hide in a professional setting and I’d rather have some control over who sees and knows what about me, but out of day-to-day sight, I love them. Bruises and bites serve as little memory postcards, whenever I look at my body and see a mark created in play, I can’t help but be transported back to that moment, and smile.

Recently (ish), I’ve turned the tables a little and did a little biting of my own with a play partner of ours, and in doing so discovered that leaving the marks is fun too.

KinkOfTheWeek

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So Many Steps Back…

Wednesday, January 15th, 2014

jezebel

 

Serious interlude, normal service to resume once judges stop being ridiculous…

This article over on Jezebel infuriated and saddened me. Probably a whole other bunch of emotions too, but I can’t even articulate them. The piece is about a Swedish judge who ruled a man not guilty of rape even though his victim shouted “no” so loudly that her neighbours heard.

His logic? If the man doesn’t think it’s rape, it’s not rape. He even goes on to say that because he didn’t rape her orally or anally, that demonstrates some kind of self control of his part and demonstrates he didn’t rape?

Seemingly recognising the imminent outcry from, well, pretty much everyone, Judge Larsson goes on to say:

If what is happening right now in mass and social media has the potential to scare less experienced judges, we’re on a dangerous path.

Yes, I’m afraid we are going to call you on this. Why? Because this is disgusting and abhorrent.

The precedent this sets is unthinkable.

NK x

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Play Rape

Monday, January 13th, 2014

I’d been planning to write about play rape for a while and now seems like a good time to do so, for reasons that will become clear later on.

Play rape is a reasonably common fantasy but is often considered a taboo, even today. For some, perhaps it just feels too “wrong” to admit to, though that can also be a huge part of the draw. Even the term “play rape” is controversial – some argue rape is rape and to call something play rape diminishes the significance of actual rape. Some prefer the term “ravishment” as a means to distinguish consensual non-consent/play rape from actual, non-consensual activity. Personally, I tend to use terms like CNC and play rape rather than ravishment, purely for reasons of understandability.

Play rape – for those lucky enough to be able to act on their fantasies in this field – differs in style for everyone who partakes of it. For some, they may be the compliant, quiet “victim”. Others may find thrill in the struggle, in putting up a fight. Likewise, a CNC scene can be tender in a way, whispered assurances and coercion rather than all-out force… or it can be brutal and nasty. For some, being degraded and called names is all part of the package, while others veto any such dirty talk. This is why pre-play negotiation and communication is so very important when planning CNC play. Communication of want, needs and limits is always important in kink play, but with this form of play, it can become difficult to articulate any problems during play. It’s always wise, of course, to have a safe word or signal.

Play rape and CNC is something that features regularly in our sex life. I’ve been the “abused young girl” (yes, I know that may disturb some, but YKINMK), the “victim” of a demon rape (yes, that happened… and it was hot) and more recently, just… me.

The most realistic, intense play rape I’ve ever experienced happened just a few days ago. My boyfriend said very little. The face slapping was hard. I cried, harder and more uncontrollably than ever before in a scene. I cried out in terror. If anyone had witnessed it, they’d have thought he were a monster.

Afterwards, I needed his arms around me as the shaking died down and the tears tapered off.
He needed reassurance that I really was okay, and that it had been fun for me (it had).

Play rape, ravishment, consensual non-consent – whatever you want to call it – can be a difficult fantasy to own up to, and a challenging one to indulge in, but when it all comes together, it can be truly euphoric.

NK x

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New Years Resolutions – Kinky, Sexy and Bloggy.

Thursday, January 9th, 2014

NY Resolutions

 

Admittedly this is a little late as it’s already a week or so into 2014, but I wanted to post some kind of record of what I’m hoping to do or change in the coming year…

1. Get fitter.
I know this doesn’t sound related in the slightest to sex or kink, but in a way it is. Cardio fitness affects sexual ability and confidence a lot. Being fitter means I can do more!

2. Try new things.
There are a few things in the forefront of my mind on this one – for example pegging – and in a more general sense I’d like to approach things more openly. I feel as though for too long I have held back and if I want to get the most from life, I must learn to throw myself into things more often!

3. Attend some blogging/adult industry events.
I’m always super envious of those who go to such things, so hopefully this will be the year I get to join in the fun!

4. Write more!
Admittedly, 2013 was a turbulent year. As a result, blogging took a backseat. I’m happy to say that life is considerably better now, so I feel confident in saying you’re going to see a lot more of me and my thoughts over the next 12 months.

I’ll let you all know over the course of the year how I’m doing!

NK x

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Review: Seven Til Midnight Plus Size Leopard Print Chemise

Wednesday, January 8th, 2014

Seven Til Midnight Plus Size Microfiber Leopard Print Chemise

 

I was fortunate enough to be sent this by Lovehoney for review. I was delighted when I was emailed about it as I’d noticed it on the site and loved it.

Upon receiving this chemise I couldn’t wait to try it on. I am normally about a size 22 (ish) at the moment and this is stated as fitting 18-24. I found it figure hugging (being spandex) but comfortable, and would advise that you’d need to be reasonably happy for your every curve to be on display to enjoy wearing this.

I personally found it fitted a lot shorter than the model picture suggests – but that may be because I am 5’11″ – so perhaps a shorter lady would find it would sit longer.

Seven Til Midnight Plus Size Microfiber Leopard Print Chemise 2

The back design is unusually cut, but I was surprised by how flattering it actually was on me. The straps do adjust as stated on the product page, which means it will sit well on a number of body types and shapes.

I wasn’t wildly impressed with the free G-string, because as is common with included G-strings, it seemed a lot larger than the chemise. I wasn’t really all that bothered about that though, as I don’t think it affects the look of the chemise to not wear the matching thong.

The spandex fabric feels gorgeous, really soft, and didn’t irritate my skin at all (which is important to me as a psoriasis sufferer).

All in all, I really like it, and most importantly I feel incredibly sexy in it.

The Seven Til Midnight Plus Size Leopard Print Chemise is available to buy at Lovehoney.

NK x

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Fearspace

Tuesday, January 7th, 2014

fear

Okay, here goes. I’m not sure how coherent this will actually prove to be. As such, I apologise in advance!

In the past, I have only ever hit subspace twice. It’s a very rare thing for me, and takes a lot of work to get to. I found I experienced something slightly similar, though less intense, through waxplay.

Recently, though, I experienced something new. Something I’ve been referring to as “Fearspace“.

The details of what caused it aren’t probably that important – essentially, my boyfriend, KingNothingface, being very scary during sex – to a level I may have suggested was something akin to demon possession… but describing or explaining that, as I say, isn’t really what I’m trying to do with this writing.

What I experienced was – perhaps for the first time – a very, very real sense of fear with someone I truly trust. KingNothingface remarked afterwards that my terror showed in my face.

When everything had stopped, I lay in his arms and shook. I feel as though I should state, dear reader, that such a response is not common for me. As I lay there, I realised how quiet my head was. To explain, I’m very much an overthinker in life, I never really quieten down and just enjoy the silence – so for all of that to have just stopped dead was extraordinary to me. In the past, the only states to have accomplished such a feat were subspace and meditation.

Now, perhaps some would argue that what I experienced could be described more as simply a different way to achieve subspace. Personally, I feel as though it is a different headspace entirely, though every bit as overwhelming. For me, the notable differences are the fact that it was entirely mental stimulation which resulted in this state (though, yes, of course there was significant physical stimulation occurring at the time, it was the mental that caused my reaction), and that as such this was not a pain response. It would be fair to say, however, that the states are related as ultimately both subspace and fearspace are the result of endorphin release.

I’ve thought about the experience a fair bit since. What I know for certain is that I’m looking forward to any future journeys into fearspace.

 

[First posted in August 2013 on my Fetlife profile]

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Teach Me Daddy

Monday, January 6th, 2014

Teach me again daddy, why the other girls don’t like me.
Because they know, don’t they, that I’m not like them.
That I’m dirty and want perverse things that good girls shouldn’t want.
Normal girls don’t beg for their arses to be taken, to be owned and mercilessly fucked.

Show me daddy, how you care for and love me in your special way.
Our secret way.
I won’t tell, I promise.

Push my legs apart and find me already slick and waiting.
Remind me, daddy, that all my pussy is good for is the juices that drip down and allow you to take my arse so freely.
Soothe me with gentle, loving shushes as you push yourself into me- just the head at first and that sharp pain that makes me gasp.

“Shh shh shh, it’s okay sweetie”

Then, I yield to you, and I become yours for the taking, fully.
Now, with ease you can ram your full length into me, making me cry out in ecstasy.

I don’t mind being wired wrong, daddy, because it feels so good.

Just when I feel like I can barely take any more, you fill me with your special cream. Only the good girls get that, don’t they daddy?

Exhausted and spent, wrap your arms around me and tell me I’m your good girl.
And here, in the safest of places, in your arms… there are no thoughts.
No worries.
No monsters under the bed.
You chased them all away.

And I love you.

 

[First posted 9/12/2013 on my Fetlife profile]

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Hello 2014: Seeing the Year in – the Kinky Way.

Thursday, January 2nd, 2014

New-Years-Eve

Having finally recovered and got my bearings two days later, I thought I’d write about how we celebrated new year’s eve.

I wrote a post back in November about our previous (and first) kinky house party. It was a great success and we heard such lovely things off people afterwards that we decided pretty much right away we’d do it again – and NYE seemed like a logical next date.

Aiming for the party to be busy without overcrowding, there ended up being about 20 or so fetishists gathered, and in many ways the party was like any other – people drank, nibbled and chatted to a background of mostly music, with a little interlude for Big Ben to do it’s chimey thing at the big moment.

However, there was also the flogging (of many arses), the violet wand (which I sort of wanted to try but felt too nervous to), and various other reasonably standard fetish party staples (not actual stapling mind, though there was some needleplay by a couple of our guests). As a couple, we did a bit of flogging after I was cheeky (and yes, we’re still maintaining we’re not D/s!), he spanked me with Vampire Gloves (mmm, blood!) and we did a little wax play in the lead up to midnight too.

What was less average though, was the fucking machine one of our guests had built and which they brought along! A couple of people had a go – one publicly and one privately – though I have to admit I sadly wasn’t one of them. In some ways I wish I had but there’ll be other opportunities I’m sure.

In a way this leads me to what I want out of the coming year – more new experiences. Ultimately, the only thing preventing that most of the time is me holding back – something I want to change.

So, let 2014 be the year in which I dive right in!

NK x

 

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